His Confessions |▶ Kesheaf

by West Parsons on September 29, 2011 · 3 comments

in his confessions

Age: 29
Geographical Location: Atlanta, Ga
Educational Background: B.A. Graphic Design/Architecture… Music

How important is hair to overall attractiveness? Specifically, which styles (down vs. ponytail vs. bun) and lengths?

Very important… I like the styles that you can pin-up some kind of way, regardless of the style… I like for the face, neck and shoulder line to stand out. I think that a pinned-up style displays those features.

Do you feel there is a ‘Natural Hair Movement’ currently occurring? Why do you think so many women are going natural (i.e. Do you think most women want to make a statement or to just stop relaxing)?

More than a movement overall… I think it is a movement for those that are just trying it out. But for the young ladies that realize that they are beautiful with their natural hair, I believe that it’s a lifestyle and a self-realization that goes way deeper than the hair. When realized on the inside I could hear a woman say, “I’m beautiful the way that I am”… Women that try it out tend to keep their hair natural when they discover that they are beautiful. Some decide to go back to relaxing their hair because they are not confident or it’s a more time efficient day getting ready for work… and some women just don’t know what to do with their hair when it’s natural. I think that the “hair relaxer movement” is ending…

Would you support your significant other if she decided to become natural?

My wife is natural and I love it… For the ladies that are reading this, don’t think that I’m a guy that can’t take permed hair… That’s not true for me… When I met my wife her hair was permed. I was hoping that she would go natural. She did… and I didn’t even ask her to.. she wanted to do it for herself. I think it’s very attractive when a woman realizes that she wants to make that change. It was cool because she struggled with it, at first. Once she did, I couldn’t tell her nothing!… She was taking pics of herself and all.. Like most young ladies, when they go natural… It’s like, they find themselves and I like to see that happen with any woman.

Are you able to tell the difference in textures of hair? If your significant other were to go natural, would the texture of her hair affect your opinions on whether she should remain natural or not?

Yes…I appreciate all textures… There is a way to treat and style all textures.. but, I think that they are all beautiful… If we all had the same texture that would be pretty boring, which one of the reasons why I don’t prefer relaxed hair.. because it’s all.. just… straight hair.. I mean.. you can style straight hair.. I just think that it’s boring… especially when it’s not your natural hair.. If your hair is naturally straight, cool, still do what works for you.

Mine is already natural… if my wife still had relaxed hair I would feel someway about it, but I’d accept it. But, she would probably catch me looking at women with natural hair all the time…=-) just being honest..

Do you like or dislike when your significant other changes her hair style often (i.e. wigs, weaves, braids, flat ironed, wash & go)?

I love it when she changes it… only with her hair though.. I don’t know how I feel about the wigs… I just don’t think it’s attractive.. now, don’t get me wrong… I have seen some very attractive women, with attractive faces and a really nice wig.. really nice… but I still love natural hair a lot more than that.. I’d choose a simple natural hairstyle over a $500-2000 wig any day…
I love to see my wife wash her hair.. it’s sexy… she seems liberating for her. I love it… It is unattractive when a woman has to go through the hassle, and sometimes pain, of getting her hair relaxed… not to mention the waiting time even after making appointments… crazy!!!… The money that’s paid just so that your hair can be straight… please..

Does the amount of time your significant other spends on her hair prove to be problematic?

Nope… not at all.

How do you feel about the amount of money your significant other spends on her hair? Is there a point where the amount of money is a source of conflict? Is it acceptable for her to spend as much as she chooses as long as she looks fly?

Since my wife is natural, all that we spend money on is shampoo, oils etc.. Every now and then, she’ll get it braided=-)… and I love it when she gets it braided… Hair expenses are not a problem.. it’s very minimal… It would be a problem if too much money was going towards that.. A lot of money can be spent on treating natural hair too.. But, she likes to experiment with her hair.. and that’s cool with me.

Do you think your significant other should consider your opinion when making decisions about her hair?

Yes, I do. Let me say that it would be shallow if I wanted my wifes’ hair to be a style that doesn’t fit her.. I want her to be happy with how she looks… I want her to be happy about how I think she looks.. with that balance, I think that she should consider my opinion. I don’t want her to be a supermodel.. I want her the way she is. Well, maybe a supermodel with “natural hair” .. which I feel that she is..

Why do you think women care about a man’s opinion when it relates to hair?

That’s a generational thing, so it goes back some years… hair is a natural ornament. You can be very creative with hair. I know that hair was always that “crown” that you can style. Since we pay attention to hair nowadays I think that it was always that way.

I always like to think of things in the original state. What if there was never a time that slavery of any kind occurred? How would this world be? I’m sure that before any type of captivity happened, not one woman was ever thinking about that… It was never a concern before… and it shouldn’t be even now… It’s like taking our right to be creative and twisting it… there is nothing wrong with straight hair.. but using almost deadly chemicals to do it… and women are worry about how they look at the expense of that..

How do you view women that wear weaves? Can you tell the difference between natural hair and a weave?

I usually can… I’m fooled sometimes… that’s another thing.. I don’t like those types of surprises. I don’t like to be teased. With weave, I feel like I’m being teased… I understand, again, when our schedules are tight and we need a hairstyle that allows us to get up and go.. trust me.. I know.. But, again… what if slavery never happened… we would not be caught up in worrying about that..
Example: There some corporate jobs that don’t allow natural styles.. even if they allowed it they would probably choose the “clean look” over otherwise. I’m not talking about trying to get a job just getting out of bed.. never style your hair in a presentable way.. we should do that for our own self-satisfaction… but not for some job, some dude, or because your mom raised you that way… slavery… I guess that we do what we gotta do..

How do you feel about satin sleeping bonnets or any type of hair scarf?

I don’t care about that.. I don’t know everything about those.. but I believe that certain materials can help control the amount of oils, from our skin and hair, that get on our pillows and stuff.. that’s cool.. Of course sometimes, I’d want her to sleep without it..

Does it matter to you whether your significant other’s hair is relaxed or not?

It does.. If she still relaxed her hair I’d tell her how sexy I think she’d be with it natural.. but I wouldn’t force her… Thereafter, she would know how I feel about that.. but it’s one thing to know how a person feels about something… it’s another thing when it’s becomes real to them.. that’s usually when women make that change..

I’d also like to say there are also things that men are enslaved to when it comes to ego… but we do it regularly like a woman relaxing her hair.. I have let a lot of things go when it come to the subject of male ego… it’s about the root of the subject. Does a woman want to relax her hair because she was raised that way, to attract a man or is that the only way that she can feel attractive… Either way it’s unhealthy… it’s not a woman’s true and first beauty..
and it’s an extra concern that can take up space in your mind, time, and financial expenses..

That’s deception…

For More Info: www.KesheaF.com


amartianslove January 26, 2011 at 2:56 am

i really enjoyed reading this. gives me a bit of hope for my future partner. its so hard finding someone who appreciates you wholeheartedly.


Anonymous January 26, 2011 at 3:30 am

He gives a nice perspective.

Rasheedah August 1, 2011 at 2:36 pm

I went to a cookout over the weekend and the men were soooo surprised that I walked up in there with my own natural hair. I was there early before the women showed up, and if you could’ve heard some of the comments. These men were seriously fed up with black women wearing weaves and wigs. One guy said its very rare to see a black woman with her own hair, someone asked to cop a feel…….