His Confessions |▶ Nafiys

by West Parsons on December 20, 2011 · 33 comments

in his confessions

Post image for His Confessions |▶ Nafiys
Name: Naifys
Age: Not Disclosed
Geographical Location: Hollywood, California
Educational Background: B.A. Liberal Arts & Education

How important is hair to overall attractiveness? Specifically, which styles (down vs. ponytail vs. bun) and lengths?
There are a few things that I like and dislike. Hair (along with facial features) is definitely important in attraction. It’s important because that is the first thing you see.  You can tell a lot about a woman based on her hair. I find women with short curly hair to be more attractive.

Do you feel there is a ‘Natural Hair Movement’ currently occurring?  Why do you think so many women are going natural (i.e. Do you think most women want to make a statement or to just stop relaxing)?
Yes, I feel there is a natural hair movement.  I like it because women are realizing hair products weigh you down and people are interested in what their hair texture really looks like. Also, with natural hair, it shows a woman’s facial structure. I think Cassie started something.  She has women shaving the sides of their hair in liberation.  Maybe she is training one side of her scalp. Lol.

Would you support your significant other if she decided to become natural?
Yes, I would support her because I like the edginess, texture, and the fact that I can run my fingers through it with no problems.

Are you able to tell the difference in textures of hair?  If your significant other were to go natural, would the texture of her hair affect your opinion on whether she should remain natural or not?
Yes! If my girlfriend had a texture that I didn’t approve of, I would definitely let her know.  She wouldn’t have to change anything, but I would let her know how I felt about it.

Do you like or dislike when your significant other changes her hair style often (i.e. wigs, weaves, braids, flat ironed, wash & go)?
I don’t like it because I feel as though she is abusing her hair and that she is disrupting the texture all the time.

Does the amount of time your significant other spends on her hair prove to be problematic?
I think it would be a problem if she wasn’t ready when it is time to go out.

How do you feel about the amount of money your significant other spends on her hair? Is there a point where the amount of money is a source of conflict?  Is it acceptable for her to spend as much as she chooses as long as she looks fly?
It is acceptable as long as she has money to tend to her other business.

Do you think your significant other should consider your opinion when making decisions about her hair?
Yes she should.  I’m not saying that she has to listen to me but she should still consider my opinion because we are together.  Hair plays a lot of roles in a relationship …in and out of the bedroom J  I say that to say this, sex is physical and I like to run my fingers through my significant other’s hair.

Why do you think women care about a man’s opinion when it relates to hair?
In a woman’s thought process, our opinion matters,  so hair is just another entity because we are the ones that have to look at and like it. You can stay home with that bag on your head! Lol.

How do you view women that wear weaves? Can you tell the difference between natural hair and a weave?
Sometimes you can see a girl’s tracks and sometimes you can’t. It depends on the person that did it.

How do you feel about satin sleeping bonnets or any type of hair scarf?
I like hair scarves because it keeps a woman’s hair in place.

Does it matter to you whether your significant other’s hair is relaxed or not?
No. It doesn’t matter. I like both styles.
For More Info: Nafiys on Facebook

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{ 33 comments… read them below or add one }

Anonymous September 21, 2010 at 3:54 am

"If my girlfriend had a texture that I didn’t approve of, I would definitely let her know. She wouldn’t have to change anything, but I would let her know how I felt about it."

LOL! Him: I really don't approve of the way you were born. You don't have to change it, but I'm deeply disappointed in your lack of white/Indian blood."

Black people really need to start thinking about the things that they let roll off of their tongues. Inferiority complexes and self-hatred is a b**** and downright pathetic. And in this case, it's even worse because he looks like he is fresh out of Africa. "Nappy" headed and all. SMDH

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Anonymous September 21, 2010 at 4:01 am

I def agree I was definitely disturbed by that comment. So because someone is 4b (which I assume is what he means) he won't accept her hair? smh

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Anonymous September 21, 2010 at 4:03 am

To be fair he didn't specify what texture he doesn't approve of. Maybe he doesn't approve of those textures that don't loc easily. :/

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Anonymous September 21, 2010 at 9:16 pm

Y'all going in way too hard! Clearly, the person he's talking to is his girlfriend! I dnt think he would walk up to a random stranger and say something like that.

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Blog Vixen September 21, 2010 at 9:28 pm

Whoa! Lol. I AM NOT his girlfriend. No where near it. Just thought I'd clarify that much.

He is also very SINGLE!

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SomeBeautifulMess September 21, 2010 at 10:05 pm

LOL @ not approving of textures. It's not an outfit or a shade of lipstick. It's growing out of your head!

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Anonymous September 22, 2010 at 6:41 am

LOL. that was very entertaining!

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Anonymous September 22, 2010 at 5:40 pm

Yea…. I can see why women would be offended by that comment. We have no control of the texture of hair. But we can do things (like two strand twists, cornrows, etc. (I am not referring to relaxers or extenstions)) to make our hair look beautiful. If you hair is cared for and healthy there is a style that will make it nice. We just have to find it!

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Anonymous September 22, 2010 at 5:45 pm

Yeah, that comment kind of rubbed me the wrong way. I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and say that it didn't come out right—I hope.

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Anonymous September 23, 2010 at 12:36 am

@ Blog Vixen- I think that question about texture is worded kinda vague. Maybe if you break up the two questions it won't sound like the guy is being self hating about hair texture. Ask: When it comes to hair texture which do you prefer? Tightly coiled? Curly? Wavy? or Straight? Then ask the second question about the 'significant other going natural' separately. You caught the last confession guy with that double question and I think he was confused how to answer it, too. Just a suggestion, love your blog, too! 🙂

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Anonymous September 23, 2010 at 6:01 am

See that is why I didn't vote for him. LOL

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LaTroy Watson September 23, 2010 at 4:48 pm

You Anonymous People Are Really Getting Out Of Hand! Taking His Opinion To The Heart! Seriously, I'm Not A Female, But I Hate The Texture Of My Hair! It's Coarse, Yeah I'm Natural! I Don't Put Any Chemicals In My Hair, I Use Natural Shampoo & Conditioner Too! So, Clearly I Don't See What The Big Deal Is. You, Yourself Is Not Going To Like The Texture Of Your Hair Too At A Point, Because We All Know… Weaves, Wigs, Extensions, Lace Fronts aren't For everyone. So, If You Can Say You Don't Like Your Hair, Why Complain About Another Person Saying The Same Thing? I Thank Nafiys For Being "BRUTALLY" HOnest. Isn't This What Females want Out of a man? I rather my man to tell me he doesn't like the texture of my hair than for him to lie and maybe relax his hands on another girl's head.

Just because you are born with something doesn't mean YOU HAVE TO LOVE IT. If you embrace and love everything about yourself, i'm sorry then your not human your not perfect. Nobody is…

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Blog Vixen September 25, 2010 at 5:23 am

I appreciate all of your comments thus far.

Just for clarification — The question was asked in two parts and he did answer in two parts. He said he is able to tell the difference in textures of hair, and he meant what he said when he speaks of not approving of a texture.

I have attempted to get him to respond and clarify that statement, but as you can see, I am the one making the 'clarification'.

Ladies & Gentleman, we must learn and understand that not all men (or people in general) are going to genuinely love natural hair in all its glory (wavy, curly, kinky, etc). There will be some who have disapproving attitudes. That is the point in doing this segment. Men who have the guts to speak out on natural hair, always do so in a positive context. Seldom do we hear men speak 'negatively' about natural hair unsolicited. This time it was solicited, and he gave it to us raw.

This interview just proves that there are guys out there, although natural themselves, who may have a different views of how they think natural hair on a woman's head is supposed to be worn.

More interviews still to come! Stay tuned! 🙂

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Distinguished Posture September 25, 2010 at 7:16 am

hello followers
ok let me clear the smoke cause this is crazy … ladies don't feel bad not everybody has good hair today so i can see why you need a lot more extra .. lol my bad that was wrong.. You can have bad hair in this world today and be an outstanding person. Hair is something that you are blessed with long or short weaved or locked.. Yes im from Africa.. thank you .. The hair texture question i was confused so i just did my best @ trying to answer the question.. Thanks Vixen.. Textures i like are curly, wavy, straight, and locked .. Thanks 4 not voting for me didn't know this was a Contest anonymous Genius ..lmao .. Don't hate cause i got nice locs .. get in the corner .. Follow me @imodel thanks for your love and support .. shoutout to the haters and women with nice hair.. So what if i might not like it just as long your boo does you should be cool … My blog coming soon http://distinguished-posture.blogspot.com/ Ask me something else about hair

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BD in DC September 25, 2010 at 3:25 pm

I'm sorry, but the above comment was completely ridiculous, and in attempting to "clarify" his position, he was completely disrespectful. There's nothing wrong with having a preference, but to say that someone can have "bad hair" and still be a great person says a lot about you. A person's texture is not something they can choose, and to equate it to their character is insane, and if anything, is a discrimination similar to white people who think that dark skin is synonymous with "ghetto, poor, thieving, etc." I won't even get into calling someone's hair "bad" in the first place, when it's really likely that you have a similar texture to the women you're degrading. You need to re-evaluate how you judge people. And then have the nerve to advertise yourself? Wow.

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Chocolat79 September 25, 2010 at 3:51 pm

So "bad" hair (in his opinion) is any hair that is not curly, wavy, straight or locked?? I'm not going to even try to understand or justify that clarification because 1) it'd be useless…those opinions are already formed and anonymous bloggers will not change that, 2) if that what he likes, that's what he likes….does it sound ignorant? yes (along with perhaps some other issues), but that's his opinion and he's certainly entitled. Whatever…I have "good" hair because it's healthy, it's on my head, and it's good to me. There are plenty people who can't say the same….ask a post-chemotherapy patient or someone with alopecia, so whatever.

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Anonymous September 25, 2010 at 5:33 pm

@ Distinguished Posture – (I'm the 1st anonymous poster lol)

The comments aren't about you not liking FEMALES' hair, it's about you not liking YOUR OWN HAIR. It's about you obviously being self-hating and having disdain for your own BLACKNESS. It's about you believing that your race, YOUR FEATURES, are inferior to that of all other races, which is pathetic. It really isn't something that you should be proud of. Your "opinion" isn't any different than the "opinions" of white who thought that it was okay to buy, sell, & kill Blacks because, we are after all, an obviously inferior, sub species. They believe that their race is superior and you believe that your race is inferior….I guess it's a match made in black slave mentality heaven.

(I just hope you don't produce any children.)

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Anonymous September 25, 2010 at 6:06 pm

….but you're acting like you have a fantastic grade of hair. You're on the same slave ship as the rest of us bruh. get over it

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Sara September 25, 2010 at 8:33 pm

Are you still responding to questions because I would like to know if you think that you have low self esteem/worth?

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Anonymous September 25, 2010 at 10:58 pm

I'm glad that you could clarify that double question Nafiys (Distinguished Posture). I kinda thought that it was a little confusing for you and the last guy. You say that you like curly, wavy, straight, and locs (very much like your own HAIR STYLE). Which I believe you thought the hair texture question meant. No problem.:-) That means you like all hair TYPES, because locs are usually done with kinky/coily hair (very much like your own hair.)Just so you know, a HAIRSTYLE IS NOT A TEXTURE. Maybe Blog Vixen will clarify those questions for the interviews in the future so that there will be truly honest, fair, and candid "confessions" from cool guys like you. ~Peace!

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questfortheperfectcurl September 26, 2010 at 1:01 am

I didn't have a problem with what he initially said but that whole mess about good hair and not everyone having it is some tomfoolery right there…and who cares if he is from Africa? What the heck does that have to do with anything? Smh.

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Anonymous September 26, 2010 at 1:08 am

Loooool some of the comments here are crazy. We know good and well we want to know our SO's opinions. My SO doesn't like my hair natural when I say natural I mean a shrunken fro or puff he also doesn't like the wild blow out look. I know this because I cared to ask and he respects me enough to be honest. Meanwhile it doesn't stop him from assisting me with scalp care, protein treatments, watching for new hair commercials. He does all this because I know how he feels about my texture and I don't have to change anything but I choose styles such as twist outs, flat ironing and extensions because I respect my King's opinion. He's never asked me to do these things because he respects my choice so I totally get what they guy meant about her knowing. Meanwhile his rebuttal was extremely immature, lol he should have left it alone I thought he did well until that moment.

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Anonymous September 26, 2010 at 2:22 am

I don't like my pinky toe. Is that self hate? Whatever he doesn't like nappy hair. So what. It is what it is. I don't like nappy hair either. It reminds me of ground taco meat. Am I self hating? No. It is my opinion not yours. Ladies get over it. Not everyone's going to like your naps,Afro wash & goes etc. Just like a pinky toe or funny shaped heads etc people have the right to choose what they like & dislike.

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Anonymous September 26, 2010 at 3:02 pm

Everyone has the right to have preferences, but there is a reason why people have certain preferences. Since some people think that it is never "wrong" to have preferences, why can't white people have a preference for hiring only white people. It's just what they prefer, no shade to others.

To the poster above: A pinky toe isn't a distinct racial feature. A black person hating their hair is the same as an Asian person hating the shape of their eyes and using surgery or tape to "fix" it. Or, an Indian/black person bleaching their skin. I guess Michael Jackson, Sammy Sosa, or Lil Kim aren't self-hating, they just have their own personal "preferences".

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Anonymous September 26, 2010 at 6:43 pm

Skin bleaching is totally different. Some one not liking their texture of hair not self hate its a preference & opinion. So if someone relaxes their hair I guess that's self hate huh? It's just a preference & opinion on hair. The guy that wad interviewed said he will tell his girl he didn't like her hair he didn't say he would leave her. It boils down to this…not everyone is going to like everything. Simple. We have the right. If I don't like nappy Afros its my opinion. If I don't like dry ashey looking knotted hair its my opinion. It's not like I'm going to discriminate & not hang out with people with nappy hair. I just don't like the look. No offense to anyone with nappy hair wear it and wear it proudly.

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Anonymous September 27, 2010 at 10:22 pm

ROTFLMAO @ ^^^^! Get him, ladies! LOL That was a foul comment to me too.

I don't know if many other men are going to be willing to share their opinion if they read the comments from this "confession". 🙁 lol

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questfortheperfectcurl September 28, 2010 at 6:26 pm

LOL at these most recent comments! Honestly, I don't think not having a preference for natural hair is a sign of self hate, BUT my issue is there is a way to express it without looking ignorant, something the interviewer did NOT achieve in his comment response. But hey, if he wants to look like that in public more power to the kid.

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Anonymous October 8, 2010 at 4:32 am

Um, I couldn't understand what the H he said in his response bc of the poor grammar & spelling. I don't know HOW ya'll were able to decipher that LOL I'm wondering how he GRADUATED without being able to form a complete sentence. Sad times on behalf of our educational system!

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Anonymous October 12, 2010 at 6:47 pm

I think he didn't understand the question about texture. well, I want to believe he didn't understand

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Anonymous October 19, 2010 at 3:14 pm

HOLY RUN-ON SENTIENCE BATMAN! What the fuzzy!? First of all, my head hurts from trying to decipher his "clarification." All I understood was something about being african, bad hair and textures. Clearly, this man is learning disabled; he fell through the cracks!

I completely disagree with all this gibberish about how women need to be concerned about how men view their hair. When we date men, do we put a ton of demands on how they wear their hair? Who is pressuring them to do anything to their hair or anything else of that matter? puh-leeeeeez Multi-billion dollar corporations are built on making women feel like they have to be more attractive for MEN. Because a man is the end all be all. lulz I'm not an object, I'm an individual. No one gets to define me.

Women (of all races) need to appreciate and love their own beauty whatever it is. There is empowerment in knowing you inner goddess, please get acquainted with her.! BWHAHA Sometimes my BF can run his fingers through my hair some times he can't… but it dun stop him from pulling it! *wink* *wink* *wink* WINK*

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Anonymous October 19, 2010 at 9:47 pm

" but it dun stop him from pulling it! *wink* *wink* *wink* WINK* "

Lol! those extra winks got me, I couldn't even hold it in.

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I Am November 16, 2010 at 6:59 pm

I love Afro-textured hair.

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